What birth and death doulas do for the beginning and end of life, transition doulas do for those and all the metamorphoses in-between.

The three-stage/phase model we use when working with intra-life transitions is drawn from the same three phase model the International End-Of-Life Doula Association uses for inter-life transitions. The model consists of:

Phase 1 – Legacy work & planning.  We don’t have to be at the end of our lives to start thinking about meaning and legacy. From bringing a life into this world to intentionally joining our life with others in committed relationships, every crossroads is an opportunity to look deeply at our lives and reflect on who we have been and who we are becoming.

In phase 1 we explore questions like: What is important to you? What shaped you into who you are now? How do you want to be remembered, and how can the way you move through this contribute to your legacy? What do you want to get out of this transition?

In the planning aspect, we inventory what’s around you, charting the territory ahead and laying out the logistics of transition. By mapping your flight path, we can ease the landing. We will ask questions like: What can you expect during this transition? What does a successful transition look like to you? What resources do you have in place to assure that? How can we engage or build your support networks? 

During phase 1 we will also encourage you to build your insights into a meaning project, a creative representation of your current legacy: where you’ve been, where you are going, and what you want to leave behind. You determine what form the representation takes, and how it comes into being.

Phase 2 – Ritual. All cultures engage in rituals to mark transitions: graduations, weddings, baby showers, funerals. In the case of end-of-life, a vigil is one such ritual that death doulas help orchestrate with dying clients. We believe ritual can be a powerful tool for marking transitions beyond birth, death, and chronoheteronormative holidays like weddings and graduations. We each deserve the space to create our own ritual for every transition we experience, based on our values and preferences, to honor the end of one way of being and the beginning of another.

In phase 2, which takes place as your transition is concluding, we will plan your ritual: what sensory experiences will be involved, who will be there, what actions will take place. Then, we can assist you in carrying out the ritual or, if you prefer, you can perform it on your own. 

Phase 3 – Reprocessing & early grief. All transitions, even happy ones, involve loss of some kind. It’s not uncommon to experience grief when changing jobs, having a child, moving, you name it. Does that seem ridiculous? It shouldn’t! Our (colonial) death-denying, progress-obsessed culture discourages us from reflecting on these things, but it is true: life is full of small deaths and resurrections. Grief can occur at all points in our life regardless of if the end of it is involved or not. It’s vital for our well-being to honor grief, whenever it occurs, and discover the meaning held in our experience of transition. 

In phase 3 we will explore the feelings, sensations, and thoughts that came up for you during the ritual, as well as around the entire transition. We’ll encourage you to retell the narrative of your transition and link it to your legacy. we will also invite you to share your experiences of grief, if any.

At the close of our relationship, we will make sure you’re connected with any professional resources you need to continue processing your grief. We’ll also connect you with resources that can help you adjust to living on the other side of this transition.

NOTE: The model for birth and death doula services is similar, but the details vary. See the questions below for more on birth and death doula services.